The Facebook Status Update: A Black Daria Perspective

***Taken from the walls of my notes on Facebook...to know me is to add me as a friend...Hint: I like a message before just adding me. I originally posted this on Facebook back on May 7th, 2009, but I thought my 14 followers to date, and 5 or 6 other readers of my blog would enjoy this. Feel free to share this story with friends. OK, done with my sales pitch.***

A while back, I remember writing something about my Facebook status updates and got an enormous (hey, it was like 18 comments directed entirely about it, felt super cool that day) about how funny they were...how they get people through their day, etc.

I was happy to know that, because I know I personally re-read some of them and am like "Wow, you are too hot for TV right now," (phrase I've used since the late '90s via Jerry Springer) but I just say "eh," and keep it moving. I read others...some make me laugh equally...I thought everybody was doing "it." You know, writing a "good update" even when it was bad."

"So why this post, BD?" Well, for some reason, a conversation I had today keeps repeating itself, so I felt the need to indulge for a minute on this subject of your status update, and what it could (or not) say about you.

Scenario #1:

MAY 5

"Just came from the bar..." - 12 hrs ago

"@insertcoolpersonnamehere just bought me another drink...can't dissapoint him...was leaving the bar, he caught me" - 12 hrs ago

"sdtgsie" - 11 hrs ago

"Can't belivve I mad it hom okayee" - 10 hrs ago

TODAY

"Getting on a plane to go meet with the next (insert client name here)" - 2 secs ago

- fin/Scenario 1-

Thoughts? Could say this is an alcoholic. You could also say this person is on their business (sdtgsie is code for my phone is in my pocket right now, and I was looking on Facebook to see if anyone had commented on the @insertcoolpersonnamehere but didn't, so I threw the phone back in my bag, forgot to minimize to my home screen, etc.) and is merely on their night on the town...or this person is your average industry person...You can talk amongst yourselves about the definition of the "industry person" because frankly, I work amongst them, they are my colleagues, but frankly, save the bullshit for the pitch with Russell and Diddy and other people you like to name drop. Shet ep. But keep writing, because like a train wreck, I wanna see how it all turns out...will you tell us the REAL ("I slept with him"; by the way, I don't advise one goes there, I don't think I need to know all that) or are you just giving us your bullshit to impress your "friends." Next.

Here's another situation:

Scenario 2

"Getting ready to get out of bed and get started with my day" - on Saturday

"Feeling frisky, still in bed...wanna join me?" - on Satuday

TODAY

"Sorry facebook, that day got even crazier, LOL...now I want a kiss...any takers?" - 50 min ago (posted at 6:08 PM)

-fin/Scenario 2-

OK, so you might be saying "Who the eff are your friends?" Like myself, I am sure from time to time, there's a random person you add, because you feel like "hey, this is someone I should know...they agreed with my debate on (insert topic) and I notice they seem to be on their shit...they work at (insert name of great company here)," so you add them...and then you start seeing updates like these, and are trying to figure out just when this site turned into some myspace/craigslist/assforsale site...please note though that FB is my first "social networking vice" of choice, followed by Twitter. Basically, this person gets deleted at some point, just looking for the right opportunity for them not to notice.

My last scenario may identify with others you know (Scenario 3):

"Just ate dinner. It was good." - 14 hrs ago

"Took a shower...very refreshing..." - 10 hours ago

"Going to the gym" - 9 hours ago

"Got out the gym...could have waited to shower since I ended up taking another." - 8 hours ago

-fin/Scenario 3-

Ummm...OK. You're just boring and there's no way around it. Why, you ask? Well, if I've been your friend (or I've known you, also a big difference) since freaking almost diapers or even college, and we don't talk everyday, what kind of info is this? Take this bullshit to Twitter, amongst a community (search for #lamers) and get with them...don't torture me and the other 40 people who are on your friends list with this mess. Just keep the damn account open and put pictures up...those speak more to me than these lame-ass updates...and if I choose to comment on those pics, well super-dee-duper.

Anyone that's known me (I've tagged those that know me from the playground of PS 221, to the grassy noles of Goucher College) knows that I say what I feel...of course I am sensitive to others (yet still brutally honest) and don't just SAY IT, but please believe that I say what I feel, take no reservations and could give 5 shits about what you think about me after I say it...some of my co-workers are actually my friends on here...now in a different business or different type of world (I dunno, I will go with Police Officer), maybe not...but if I add you, as a coworker, even if we don't talk everyday, my page still reflects me, but isn't all of me.

You (coworker) now may have the answer you need to why I looked pissed today (i.e. the restless FB status updates when I can't sleep = cranky Nicole at work the next day...proceed with caution, however, I am a professional ;) ) Don't utilize it as an opportunity to "blow someone up" when your dumb ass may end up looking stupid in the end...if you were smart, you'd know why I am on my facebook page, and not get so caught up into my "activities" and do your damn job...sorry, I needed to get that one off my chest, still mad about those snitches.

In summary...

There's not one association I have that will be ruined by any of my updates, no matter how gangster I get...because one should always be smart about what they write, but remember that there's this whole first amendment thing, and I am kinda down for it...no uppity shit with the kid. In other words, I am human...and one day, I will get into the status update today that made me take a minute to write this, but some days, it just needs to be said.

By me?

Always.

xoxo,

Black Daria