Dear Nas,
Can I call you Nas or do you prefer Nasir?
I thought I'd take the time to write you a personal letter on my blog. I know, you like the attention, and I need it, so hey, why not.
You may not know this, but I wrote two love letters to Chuck Bass, in an attempt to win his heart, and he chose that bitch Blair. Fine, I get it...I live in the wrong zip code, amongst other issues, but I thought we could have been as "Too Hot for TV" as Jerry Springer in 1998. But I digress from my point.
I had a dream about you on Friday, and I must say, it was pretty hot. I don't want to disrespect your future ex-wife, Kelis, as we are classmates from high school for Pete's sake. But again, I am shameless in getting two more readers to spread this as some type of juicy gossip. The classmates from high school part is true, however.
So, all I know is that we were in that house in Hollis in Belly (not to be confused with DMX's crib in Jamaica Estates) that you lived in with T-Boz. Hmmm...that was pre-Kelis and during the Carmen years, so I am good to continue my fantasy without shame, because I read her book, and frankly, next. Good for Pocket Books/VH1 and the NYT bestsellers list, bad for her, but enough about that chick.
We were in bed together, and we were talking about...what else, Queens. I don't know why.
Can I call you Nas or do you prefer Nasir?
I thought I'd take the time to write you a personal letter on my blog. I know, you like the attention, and I need it, so hey, why not.
You may not know this, but I wrote two love letters to Chuck Bass, in an attempt to win his heart, and he chose that bitch Blair. Fine, I get it...I live in the wrong zip code, amongst other issues, but I thought we could have been as "Too Hot for TV" as Jerry Springer in 1998. But I digress from my point.
I had a dream about you on Friday, and I must say, it was pretty hot. I don't want to disrespect your future ex-wife, Kelis, as we are classmates from high school for Pete's sake. But again, I am shameless in getting two more readers to spread this as some type of juicy gossip. The classmates from high school part is true, however.
So, all I know is that we were in that house in Hollis in Belly (not to be confused with DMX's crib in Jamaica Estates) that you lived in with T-Boz. Hmmm...that was pre-Kelis and during the Carmen years, so I am good to continue my fantasy without shame, because I read her book, and frankly, next. Good for Pocket Books/VH1 and the NYT bestsellers list, bad for her, but enough about that chick.
We were in bed together, and we were talking about...what else, Queens. I don't know why.
What happened next? Well, I can't really say all that here, as one day, I want to run BET, but I will tell you I haven't been awakened from a dream like that since The Boys were "dialing my heart." I think it was the way you said "I knew you were from Queens when I first started talking to you." Plus, I recall us Queens girls were hot commodoties back then, like when light- skinned dudes were "in." (I secretly wish that time never happened...fucking ridiculous.)
...But anyway, since Chuck is unavailable, I guess I'd like to just take the moment to tell you that I had this dream, and although I will likely not have a chance to share a bed with you, if I did, I hope that what happened in that dream could happen.
I only write three letters to the men I am interested in getting to know, so you should consider yourself privileged.
No seriously, you should.
I'm about my blog shit that I call "Conscious Gossip." And this is letter alone (I believe) is worth at least a lunch to discuss some of the possibilities of getting with a girl like me. I mean, I know you will likely be the whore most industry dudes think they were destined to be...and in no way am I looking to marry you. Let's face it, Kelis may just rack up in this whole thing. I dunno...we shall see, right?
All I know is that dream was hot. So there, hope you liked that enough to email me. Coffee at Starbucks?I'll call TMZ to show up...see, I'm a ride or die chick.
xoxo,
Black Daria ;/
...But anyway, since Chuck is unavailable, I guess I'd like to just take the moment to tell you that I had this dream, and although I will likely not have a chance to share a bed with you, if I did, I hope that what happened in that dream could happen.
I only write three letters to the men I am interested in getting to know, so you should consider yourself privileged.
No seriously, you should.
I'm about my blog shit that I call "Conscious Gossip." And this is letter alone (I believe) is worth at least a lunch to discuss some of the possibilities of getting with a girl like me. I mean, I know you will likely be the whore most industry dudes think they were destined to be...and in no way am I looking to marry you. Let's face it, Kelis may just rack up in this whole thing. I dunno...we shall see, right?
All I know is that dream was hot. So there, hope you liked that enough to email me. Coffee at Starbucks?
xoxo,
Black Daria ;/
3 comments:
Love, love, love your letter to Nas! If I happen to run in to - please believe, I'm giving him your digits!
I don't know what to do -- restraining order? Intervention?
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