Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Dear Tionna: a letter written from a friend to a friend

Dear Tionna,

We didn't get to finish our conversation about this whole Ciara thing today...

Frankly, she should probably hire you as her publicist. We know first and foremost you're a relationship expert, amongst other things, but the ladder of success is quite tall.

As you know Black Daria's true government name* you know what I do when I'm not blogging, being what you call "the voice of reason" amongst other hats I wear.

Here's what I didn't get to say to you before you had to go, but I thought this would be a good time to respond to the obvious tomfoolery that occurred that night with CiCi-boo.

1. I'm from Brooklyn too...certainly not "in the streets" but had some moments in the streets when my mom thought I was in Ballet class (sorry Mom). But those days are long gone. There's a time and a place for everything, and in your heart, you know who you are...people aren't even checking for CiCi, as I mentioned a few months back. She has always been a wannabe Britney to me, and that bitch is the truth, mental breakdowns and all. Never Ever was her response to Britney's Circus? Hands down, bitch loses. Not that CiCi's a bitch, and I say that with love (Ari Gold lovers will appreciate when I say that). I notice since that post I wrote back in April that response tag has been removed, and also peeped that she's straight up wearing Beyonce "Crazy In Love" outfit, amongst other tacky don'ts. A true stylist can make H&M look like a million bucks, ask June Ambrose or Shelly Castro. I could go on, but that would digress from my point. Bottom line, insecurity is a bitch, hence her little "moment" in the green room.

2. While I understood your fustration, I'd like to stress the following again: FUCK HER, DO YOU. I don't think I said it like that last time, so let me explain. Even though we know (we meaning those whom have listened to your radio shows, or are from NYC in general and Gawker) who you are, Las Vegas does not; not everything a person says warrants a response. Trust me, I learned that the hard way a few years ago. If you don't believe me, you can google my days as Buckeey's rep. I'll end that one there.

3. What I've learned (and still learning) as I climb up the ladder is, no matter how anyone treats me, it will NOT ever validate who I am, nor should it ever take me to a place where I am taken outside of myself. The email you wrote may have better suit a personal diary entry, but trust me, everyone knows that no one is checking for CiCi-boo. Sorry, but those are currently the facts. If she wants to go ahead and prove me wrong, I'd kinda appreciate it, because I'm pretty bored with today's current playlists on the radio, as far as female singers. In Ciara's case, she always has, and will be a vocal stylist.

4. Never argue with a vocal stylist. SINGERS will always treat you with respect. Vocal stylists are often insecure, so they do one of two things: either surround people around them who worship them (the 'yes' men) or they put down others around them whom THEY believe they have an advantage over. With that said, even if she thought you were Chilli's publicist, secretary or shoe shiner, your role in anything concerning your work should not ever be determined by someone else, no matter what they say, especially when they aren't cutting you a fucking check. This is especially the case when the likelihood that they will ever cut you a check is Nil. How many times have I been mistaken for another minority at my company, all because you know, we "look alike?" I'd hardly survive in Corporate America, let alone life, if I fought EVERYONE that did me wrong.

5. One of the most important things my mother taught me is to never worry about others and what they say, because I was HER CHILD. Sounds really silly, but that meant alot to me as a child and still does today. I was a reflection of her, and whatever I did would be retroactive to who she was; sounds like a huge weight to wear on one's shoulders, but I think it's the thing that allows me to build character and gain respect from my peers; those who really know who I am. Those are the people that matter to me, and from what I saw in the room on your birthday that night, the people in that room are who should matter to you: family and friends.

I end with this: always be yourself and remember where you're from, but know that not everything needs to be responded to, especially "catbags" such as Ciara (that's one of my favorite words you use).

And I say that with love.

xoxo,
Black Daria ;/

*This is the part where I tell you my real name, but really, that's no one's business...unless you want it to be, of course ;/ Google me, baby.

P.S. Let's stay focused on the plan, T ;)

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