About abuse...

I thought long and hard about what to say on this whole Chris Brown/Rihanna tragedy, and then I saw this:



And I wondered, do I really want to say what I am about to write? Then I thought about how there are too many theories being thrown out there, and not enough stories. Too many reporters, writers, journalists and colleagues with opinions, but no offerings of solutions.

So here is my story. And if I am considered a loser for it, oh well, I think it needs to be heard. Fuck these bullshit theories.

This morning, someone asked me on Facebook "have you ever seen your Mom look like this as opposed to Glammed up?"

"Yes, I have." I don't think dude was ready for that.

I was 5 years old, and I was taking a nap. I heard scuffling, but I wasn't quite sure what I was hearing, as I was drifting in and out of sleep. The next thump, and I knew instantly I wasn't in a good situation, and the two people that normally protect me were the ones I became afraid of during what seems like 20 minutes of that fight, and I wondered what to do next.

For years, I never forgot that day. I still remember it like it was yesterday. The one poingnant memory was throwing out my Hello Kitty Kitchen set. It was ruined...covered in blood, and irreplaceable, no matter how much I scrubbed, the blood just wouldn't come off the back of that fake wood platform that supported the yellow sink, and all those doodads I liked.

And when I got older, a man put his hands on me for the first time at 16, and I fought back. The first feeling was fear, then the sinking feeling in your stomach that things won't ever be the same again. He'd been abused as a young man, with his first sexual relationship by an older woman when he was 12 years old, which he admitted years later. There were other abuses as well that he endured.

The second time I was 22, and I continued to date this man, as he began to verbally and mentally abused me. And then there was that one argument that happened, where he questioned my intelligence, and told me my college degree in Communications was pretty much a joke because he didn't understand the email I wrote to him. His dad had abused his sister, and was a womanizer, to say the least.

That email I'd written to my ex was in regard to the past 3 years of abuse. And I snapped.

The road to recovery wasn't easy, but by the grace of God, friends and therapy, as well as having a mother who at 57 years old, obtained her Masters Degree has been MY STRENGTH.

And I want to be clear. My mother is the strongest woman I know. And she was a victim just like Rihanna. Different upbringings and stories, but the nucleus of abuse was there.

My dad? Well, I believe he was a victim too. From the stories I was told about him later as a young adult, I learned he was often abused and antagonized about his dark skin color. Abuse is so real, that when it develops, it often comes as result of past abuse...of any kind.

So my message on Rihanna's birthday (how fucking timely) is to get help if you've seen this picture above, whether was your sister, or your Mom, or even yourself. You should also get help if you saw your Dad do this to your mom, your sister, or another woman you love. If you've grown up in an abusive household, or have been in an abusive relationship, you must talk to someone about what you saw. It isn't normal, wasn't normal, and won't ever be normal. The path to happiness and your destiny lies within you and a support network to help you see your true value, and to know how to walk away.

The last time I found myself there, I walked away. And I won't ever go back there again. I won't judge Rihanna or Chris Brown, because BOTH OF THEM saw abuse, and even dished it out far before this picture surface. It's been reported in articles, in television interviews...

Everything except what they did to help themselves. So I say let's help them. Not end their careers with labels. They are young and they need help, and even if they were as old as Ike and Tina were, they'd still need help. And then we need to celebrate the victory of recovery.

xoxo,
Black Daria :/

This post is dedicated to Nakiah C....you told me to "release"...that's what I did. I'd also like to state that I think women who are being abused should see this picture, in case you'd like to know why I posted it, even though I feel in the case of these two it was irresponsible. It's the one you don't see of millions of women whom this happen to, and if this has been you, internally or externally, leave and get help. Men, if you've done this to a woman, or seen this, please...get help.

Something about this word Censorship...

Before you watch this, I, of course have questions:

1. What folks sat down at Sesame Street and let this pass? I mean I know it comes on late at night, but seriously??? I really need to understand how the legal team works on this type of situation...

2. HA.

3. HA. HA. I did actually crack a smile when I saw this, and then suddenly missed that Dave Chappelle stand up I saw in 2006...

Hmmm. Anyway...until I get my act together...enjoy the "clips." (Courtesy of YouTube, via whoever uploaded it...look I am tired, and I just am not up to all of that sourcing crapola right now, this should be enough).

Unnessesary Censorship - Jimmy Kimmel - 2008


Dave Chappelle talks about Sesame Street, "Killing Me Softly" - 2006

Censorship is some real BLEEP, especially when you choose to censor yourself. A little food for thought.

xoxo,
Black Daria :/

This week in Gossip and a message to all dads...

The Gossip this week is like a monsoon compared to last week. These publicists and writers have been hard at work giving you the best of the mess, from A-Rod, to Chris-Rihanna, Tameka Foster's bout with plastic surgery gone wrong...and so far, no full developments on All-Star weekend, but likely to develop some types of drama.

So here's some of the best, as told by Black Daria:

Fashion Week Fall 2009 begins this week, and no invites. Lots of "sorry, unable to accomodate you this year," and "space is extremely limited." Well, fine then. For those whom are invited to the tents, the Armory and the Showrooms themselves, this frenzy for fabric and such began as of 2/13 and will continue to haunt me until 2/20. I don't care how my sister dressed in the 90s, I know fashion...I will look for your invites in 2010.

Some things I've liked so far (photos appear courtesy of NY Daily News...that sounds professional, so that's what it is):

Yes, Black Daria would wear this Abaete dress.

She could also wear this BCBG Max Ariza dress.

She wouldn't wear this Jason Wu frock. I think I've seen better work from Project Runway contestants.

She would wear this, however. Something like this with less see-through and chest could have been worn by Michelle Obama, Jason Wu-poo. Grey is in for Fall '09.

She also likes that Fashion had a heart this year...you can see who walked in this year's Heart Truth Fashion Show here.

Tameka Raymond is recovering from surgery...see, people shouldn't have been so mean about those pictures circulating, you guys put people under pressure...joking, and glad she's OK. She's kinda lucky this Chris Brown-Rihanna mess is happening or it would be gangster out there, you know what happens when people have nothing to talk about...

Gossip Girl was another repeat, and the Season Finale of Daddy's Girls came as fast as it's premiere...it's always a 6-week run with some of the new reality shows to see if it has a chance. Top Chef was pretty good as Carla is in the final 4 (yay, Black Girls Rock) and that was all I could really stand this week. I am waiting for The Real Housewives of New York.

And lastly, in lieu of my post regarding the Chris Brown-Rihanna dibacle, a little food for thought: teach your daughters self-confidence, not the best way to hit a crack pipe. They may learn how to see trouble at the first hit, rather than the last one...sometimes it's too late by then.

So to all the fathers out there...your daughters need you.

xoxo,

Black Daria :/

Fashion at the Grammys - A Black Daria View

Had to give commentary on the notables. Sure, I'm no fashion week commentator, but hey, since everybody else thinks they know everything, why shouldn't I chime in?

Let's begin, shall we? Oh and by the way, I got these pictures from OMG, a fun site on Yahoo, via their friends at Wireimage. Disclamer for any potential lawsuits. Leave me alone.

RIDICULOUS FILES

I don't have to say anything, right? I mean I think this is borderline child abuse, as MIA was scheduled to give birth on Sunday. She bent down a few times during her performance (in case you didn't feel like being bored and watching) and I just knew a kid was about to pop out and be tossed around like a mash-up party.

No need to adjust your screen, she did wear this mess.

SPACE...A 2009 ODYSSEY...

If it didn't look like prom dress material, or like it was made by someone's grandmother, maybe I'd like this frock. Unfortunately, it's atrocious. Someone called me mean when I said Estelle looked raggedy. Guess I will be mean then. Solo was also terrible with Kanye, she could have lip-synched and it would have been OK.

Someone else got the same material from Estelle's dress to make Kim K's, but I like it better. Eh, but better, it doesn't look as cheap...but it's not to far away from it.

Excuse me miss, I think you forgot your actual gown at the hotel? Jah Mohr, and his wife, Nikki Cox, in case you care.

I think Paula Abdul has a fear of being shot on her left, hence the lovely chain armor...what do you think?

So many things wrong with this, particularly the fact that she even got a ticket and no one knows who she is...oh, her name is Phoebe Price.

Some more "Eh's"

I am not feeling Snoop's vest or suit color...just makes him look...eh. His wife looks OK.

I see London, France and Paris's...never mind. It's two steps short from cute.

Is there a funeral? Jay looks like an undertaker.

T-mess. He looks like he's going to a club. Guess it's because he was only on one record that was nominated, as opposed to 8...he playfully mentioned that in the show. Playfully.

Miley looks old. This is her momma's dress. Stop doing this to her.

NO THANKS...

I kissed a girl, and I didn't like it...so I took Pepto Bismol and...threw up? I just don't like this dress, and your performance outfit was the pits. You may not like heels but you must learn how to look graceful in flats, too. Yes, there's a way to do that Katy P.

All types of wrong with this dress. It's not flattering, just not looking sharp. I'll pass Duffster.

BEST IN SHOW

Right length, complements her skin tone, and she looks confortable. Good job Leona.

Taylor Swift got it right. Nice cut and it looks a little grown, but she can handle it.

Nice dress, just needs a slight trim, and Carrie wins.

Well, that's all for now...will wait to write Chris and Rihanna as soon as the story gets a tad straighter. My sources have already forwarded me his Wigley's suspension. Too bad they played that commercial a few times during the show...oh well. They payed for the spot, screw it.

xoxo,

Black Daria

When the party goes too far...I hope Chris didn't shake a h*e...

You know, this wasn't the way, I expected the Grammy's to start, but why should I avoid being part of chiming in on this hot flaming mess?

First it was a car accident, then E! News weak-ass correspondent Ryan Seacrest announces neither Chris or Rihanna are performing or attending the Grammy's. Then it's said that there was a fight, and Chris assaulted a "female friend," which is possibly Rihanna...hey, here's the roll of reports...knock yourselves out:

MSN Music
Mediatakeout (my fav)
MTV (of course)
The "Accident" (via MTV)
Necole Bitchie's account

My response will probably be a letter to these two...I've really had enough of their asses. It's probably time I let them know...gotta think about this one. I've actually been ignoring them for a while because I am quite bored of them, but I did want to see Chris Brown perform. He's currently a fuck-up, but a great young performer.

Back to the Grammy's...

xoxo,
Black Daria

UPDATE as of 11 PM or so: Chrissy boy turns himself in.

THIS is why DIDDY RUNS THE CITY.

All I can say is AGREED:



I haven't been to a good party since probably Nas's album release Hip Hop is Dead, and even then I was stuggling to dance. The DJs job is to make you feel good, not just play what's on the radio, which is dying a slow death by combining trash with the likes of syndicating Big Boi to NYC with an irrelevant and wack entertainment report from Ms. not so YBF. No links, because I just am not advertising trash on my blog.

This is why I don't get on Diddy about whether he's gay or straight....who gives a flying fignooty? I may not agree with all his practices, like the danity whores, but I think he's smart and has developed his business acumen that will be studied in classes years to come. I can not hate this man...CSI Miami, music, TV...what isn't he doing? 50, take notes.

Special thanks to Please Don't Stare for posting this video.

xoxo,
Black Daria

Well, well well...

I knew this chick was shady...so the plot thickens on Tia, baby mother of Ricky Rossy. Seems this young ladies got felonies for days and weeks.

According to Word on the Streets Mag, not only has this woman been charged with assault and tampering with evidence, but....SURPRISE, child neglect.

Makes me believe I was dead on in #3 of my note to Fiddy, or Curtis, as I like to call him.

So you went and found this shady bitch, bought her a fur, gucci shoes and did things we can't see on camera, right? Seems the money would have been best spent building a Youth Center in Hollis (of course you'd need more than you spent on that greasy tramp). You may want to give me a call to talk about business consulting on a grassroots level. But after the disaster show Money and the Power on MTV, I think I will pass.

Good job, 50! See, I told you no response IS A RESPONSE.

xoxo,

Black Daria

Nope...can't talk about it yet...so here's the Lil Wayne Pre-Grammy Interview instead...

As a professional blogger (allowed to call myself that after Stevie Wonder himself wrote me on Facebook today) I looked and scanned all the articles I saw...and then I started thinking about Chris and Rihanna. And I realized I needed to give this the proper Black Daria analysis to propose a theory. So you are going to have to wait, but I guarantee it's quite a concoction.

In the meantime, if you missed the Pre-Grammy's Interview with Lil' Wayne and Katie Couric, I thought you should definitely take a look. I need to say the following before you watch:

1. Although I do not like Lil' Wayne, I like the song "A Milli" that beat is amazing, I would definitely be Bangladesh's best friend if he blessed me with a beat just to walk to down the street. I've seen old school dudes bounce their heads to these beats.

2. I found this interview hilarious, yet insightful. I learned things that I didn't really care too much about before, so I kind of get some of the Boosty Collins (does Weezy play any instruments) references and such...I just don't know what he's really doing for music just yet besides giving me one song to bounce my head to at a party that was recorded after 2000. Of course there's a gang of 20-somethings waiting to torch me right now when I walk outside.

Anyway, while I compile my Rihanna analysis...

Part One:


3. DOH! Those damn clever folks at CBS must have their legal dogs on the case, because the second part of the interview was removed. But here's the part that was prominent in the interview (I love when he calls her Miss Katie, reminds me of my college years):



Weezy, did you get to "show her the receipts" for those medicinal purchases? (I would have asked...just for kicks).

Do they give receipts for those at least?

xoxo,
Black Daria :/

P.S. Thanks for World Star Hip Hop for taking a chance, as well as dude taping from his phone/camera...nice camera work.

Dear Curtis

Photo credit: xxl.com

Dear Curtis,

Wow, unreal. See, the other day on Talk Dat Ish radio, I was asked about the video featuring you with Ricky Rossy's baby mother, and I thought to myself, and actually said out loud "How bitchy!" I can not tell a lie, I did laugh at a few of the witty seconds within the clip...but I am really at a loss for words.

No, actually I am not. I am not sure what I just witnessed, but I have a few questions:

1. Did you notice she was missing a tooth on the left side? Maybe you should have taken her to the dentist first...but then again, they made your teeth too big too, because you can't seem to close your mouth or anything. Hey, I could use some work myself, but I thought I'd mention it since you seem to be so freaking generous...had a great time at your Superbowl party back in '06 even though I arrived late, btw...I was the one with the girl dropping those "leaves" on the floor ;)

2. I am trying to understand why you had to bring up the other baby mother, who happens to be an escort...she had a kid, that means she's not a man, and it seems Ricky ain't gay...you picking out furs? Hmmm...I mean I dunno, I thought ladies went out with their GIRLS and did that? Plus I don't think it's nice to blow someone up without their consent, she isn't complaining about bread, she's getting money, so kudos to her. Even if it's dirty and whorish.

3. Didn't see her buying anything for the kid she's going to court for...wonder how this video is gonna work out for her in court.

But why do you care right? I don't know, I just don't think Rick Ross is worth responding to...for Pete's sake he was just trying to feed his kids legally with the corrections gig....or be legit, whatever they are calling the rat race these days...

I will say this...after today's judgement, I hope Shaniqua isn't flying to Miami...but then again, she doesn't seem like Ricky's type.

Please do not release anymore tomfoolery of this sort on your site. Do it for Hollis.

Signed,
Black Daria (who at one time, lived on the other side of the LIRR tracks in St. Albans, giving me full clearance to address you as Curtis ;/)

Things to ponder on a hump day...

Please excuse my lack of posts, as I am going through a transition mode in my life, forcing me to leave things behind I love longer than I’d usually do…like my blog. And since Black Daria probably has at least 2 other things she loves more than this blog, you may understand that blogging daily can be quite the task. If you don't understand, well, (insert sarcasm here) screw you ;/

But I haven’t been completely negligent of my duties of informing the public on my stance on…whatever. Just last night I was on Talk Dat Ish radio, where we went into the world of skinny jeans….for men. Yes, men. Picture below is an example:


Credit: who knows (or cares), but the photographer is probably wearing something just as fabulous...

To my surprise, we discussed the subject of whether or not this was cool on the show last night, and I wanted to give the topic a fair chance, but it became deeper as we got into sexuality. Frankly, I guess I’ve been raised where these things aren’t really questioned (sexuality) to a degree of what one is wearing…it’s more about HOW it’s being worn.

For example, I understood why I saw a man's boxers when he wore baggy jeans. But when did that become OK for skinny ones? Logistically, I didn’t think it was possible, but somehow, out comes a little ass…and so not cute boys. Yes, boys wear their asses out in little jeans, because mommy didn’t give them a belt that day. Men buy a belt and pull their freaking pants up. And don't get my mother started on that one, I often have to remind her I can't beat everyone's ass after she points at them and hits me on the arm asking "Why?"

A friend circulated this fuckery picture amongst her cohorts, and one of the people on the e-mail chain happened to know one of these Ringling Brothers personally, and let the chain know that one of them “was his boys…” I don’t know, I don’t claim circus acts. I respect expression and color, but these styles will make us question the state of who you are as well as your mental capacity, and I personally don’t want to date a man who wants to wear my jeans too…I mean, that’s what we pretty much concluded with on the show last night…and you can listen to as much as you can take of us here.

SUPERBOWL RECAP

I also must admit I haven’t been much of a blog whore as I normally am, so I don’t have much to report. I did watch the Superbowl, and OK….next. Steelers won, whoopee. Honestly, I fell asleep during Springsteen, and woke up with 3 minutes left on the clock…good game.
The commercials I saw were also weak, but apparently they pulled the big dogs during my brief slumber. Here is one of my favorites from that bunch:



What else…oh, 50 needs to stop. Seriously. I think I am going to have to write a letter to him. Maybe Thursday…


TV MINUTE

Gossip Girl was weak this week, so it’s getting no play on this here post. I still think Chuck Bass needs to watch out if I see him on the street, but in the meantime, thumbs down to Monday’s episode.

The City got pretty interesting, as Kelly Cutthrone pretty much let us know she also hates skinny bitches as much as Mo’Nique does, or did, now that’s she’s lost quite a bit of weight (fabulous at any size but no more Essence covers please).



Daddy’s Girls…I think I am going to start a petition to put them on Nickelodeon, or BET…they are so sweet and squeaky clean that coming after The City is a huge set up…considering the type of viewer who likes the raciness of The City, versus the carryover to then watch Daddy’s Girls. I am seeing two viewers…can’t wait to see what Nielsen says. As a black popular culture analyst, I see this as a way to not be able to bring this show back…why 10:30? Something is not right about that, but I want to be mistaken…oh, and this whole Licensing issue doesn’t help for season 2:




Credit: RWS

…um, who’s fired here? Ironically, I went to a Johnny Cupcakes party back in 2005 for a friend who’s party was being sponsored by dude who owns Johnny C…he’s definitely no stranger to the indie clothing brands out there, and I hope the case is tight…wouldn’t want to see the ladies suffer for what seems to be a huge oversight, to be nice…it’s clear that folks are not designing their own clothes, but when walked down this type of path, you have to be careful. I am on your side ladies, even though I wasn’t invited to any parties for your show. Black Daria will look for future invites.


OK, I think that’s all for now. I am going to go catch up on some much needed gossip site reading, and get my blogroll on…check out some of mine on the right when you feel like being entertained.


xoxo,
Black Daria