It was a little after 5:00 PM, and I was upstairs in a conference room on Nickelodeon's executive floor. My colleagues and I were watching a reel from an event the day prior, and the President of the Network's assistant opened the door and said, "Did you hear? Michael Jackson died of a heart attack.""Shut UP!" I yelled. She had to be lying. I asked her to excuse my figure of speech, which she caught onto quickly (can't be telling the assistant to the President to shup up).
I dropped into a fetal standing position, so my knees were touching my head, my bottom not too far from the floor. All I could think was that this wasn't happening.
I got home, and remembered I had no cable. Good, now I don't have to be bombarded with images of Michael leaving his home and going into the hospital. I didn't want to see him like that...because it just couldn't be true.
An hour later, all I could think about was the Apollo. I need to be there...and that's where I went.
Got on the wrong train to 125th street, so I had to take a walk from Broadway, but as I approached, I got chills, realizing that it was really true. And then I saw the marquee:
Personal picture from The Black Daria Photo Files
Moved on, but my camera battery began to get exhausted...so I left, and went to have a big old glass of wine with a person I knew had to understand what I was feeling about Michael right at that moment.
Fast forward, I find myself thinking about him everyday. He was my friend...wasn't he everyone's friend? Michael meant so many things to so many different people, whether you are gay, from South Africa or went to prep school. Michael influenced us all, from Members Only jackets, to some of the hottest videos that can never be duplicated.
Too cliche to say "There will never be another Michael Jackson," because we already know that...that's easy.
My personal story comes from a former mentor, who stayed with Michael at Neverland. I was interning with her, and all she said was "he was the nicest man...always laughing, he laughed at me when I told him I wanted to get off that fucking ferris wheel...I was cursing him out and he just kept laughing at me..." A friend reminded me of the story, as he was telling me about an interview he'd seen with Sheryl Crow, who has a similar story that she experienced a mere two weeks ago. I loved hearing that about him, and it stayed in my heart.
The power of Michael Jackson has stopped traffic for four days on 125th Street, brought crowds to the Hollywood Walk of Fame, all the way to the tents lined up at Neverland Ranch, as they begin to bring in the port-a-potties. Michael has crippled the Internet, will be 9 of the top 10 Billboard Albums next week, and shed a slightly opaque curtain on the recent Iran election, "coup in Honduras, an insurgency in India..." and the other topics my great friend from college, Saki, talks about and literally shows up at the rallies for when she isn't busy changing the world. I say that with love, and she knows that.
I sat on the #1 train (oh joy) and I heard a woman in Russian (I have skills) tell another woman something...but then she said "Michael Jackson" and began talking in English. Damn. Michael has it on lock down...I just said last week that Michael Jackson saved MTV from an "EPIC FAIL" as the twitterers call it...and I can't believe that he's gone this week.
This may go down as just another post that my 15+ followers read, but I will tell you this...Michael changed my life in his own special way...and we just can't take that away from him by sweeping him under the carpet for yesterday's news. His music changed me...you...America...the WORLD.
Only a true prophet could achieve such a large task. And it was through the one thing that has probably always been there for me after the rallies in college, the days of being laid off and starting a business...the breakups. It was music...and a little Black boy and his brothers from Gary, Indiana, did all that.
To the KING...rest in peace, eternally. And P.S. - I never believed them.
xoxo, Black Daria :/
