Dear Lindsay: In Jail? Thank your fucked up parents.

Source: Maxim Online

Dear Lindsay:

So I read you're going back to jail. Makes me sad because after discovering that you don't need adderall or any of the other drugs prescribed to keep you in order, you have to pay for their mistakes.

Personally, I get it, and in say you should be tired of paying for their bitchassness. Yep, it's bitchassness.

When you get out, I advise you to keep both of those bastards out of your life.

They fucking suck monkey balls.

xo,
Black Daria ;/

Dear Michael Lohan: You're Opening A Rehab Center? I'm so NOT referring anyone.

Source: US Weekly

Dear Michael Lohan:

So, let me get this straight. Your daughter Lindsay, has been the spitting image of Special K, Adderall, Coke and other designer drugs I can't remember from my High School health class, and you think: I should open a rehab center.

That's about as bad an idea as: hey, I should pimp my daughter in show business by any means necessary.

I read this ridiculous story via US Weekly, and I am appalled. Why not go after a tanning deal, or some type of Vitamin that gives you natural energy. You know, something that would mean SUCCESS for your daughter, and not failure.

I really hope when the Buildings and Grounds Commission receive this information, they laugh and put a big fat DENIED stamp on your application.

xo,
Black Daria ;/

Dear Paris: Of Course it's not Your Cocaine. Noooo.

Source: Web

Dear Paris:

You know, when you said the pot wasn't yours in South Africa, I didn't believe you, but I believed in the power of your last name, and just like that, it was gone, and you were free.

But then I read on Diary of a Hollywood Street King via TMZ that you got arrested in Las Vegas for possession of cocaine.

Once again, it's not your purse. I ask: "Chum'mon. Really?"

How stupid do you think we really are? Don't worry, if Lindsay only did 13 of her 90 day sentence, you will do at least 7. You've done it before, you know the drill.

I just add you to the list of coke-exposed users for the week. Thanks, I guess this also made it possible for me to write something of interest today.

Actually, you aren't interesting at all, but you are worth discussing for the current moment. I've already gotten up into Soulja Boy, so until something else happens, I'm done discussing this situation.

xo,
Black Daria ;/