Monday, November 16, 2009

Since EVERY other F'ing blogger is gonna post it...

So will i...why not get a few freaking hits on my blog too?

I still think that Beyonce is too much. I also like the Sweet Dreams video better than this one, even though that one looks like the other four she did before that one.

But I digress from my point.


Beyonce, featuring Lady Gaga. Here's how I imagined this went down:


To: Bey
Date: September 14, 2009
Time: 1:04 PM
From: Gagabitches


Hey Bey-

Can I call you that now? Good seeing you at the show last night. So, I'm rethinking this whole Kanye tour after the stunt he pulled. Hope my management gets on that before they start releasing the promos, although you know shit like that makes for good press.

Anyway, let me get to the point. After your father practically squeezed my ass several times to get my attention despite my security... Your father Matthew (nice man, please send him my regards) suggested I speak to you about a duet. He thinks it would be big for both of us.

Maybe we'll go on tour?

Let's do lunch.

~GGbitches

**********************
From: Bey
To: Gagabitches
Date: September 15, 2009
Time: 2:12 PM


Dear Lady Gaga-

Please be advised that this is Beyonce's assistant typing for her, as she does not care to type unless necessary. She's also not very smart, and couldn't write a sentence to save her ass, however, she's gifted and I'm honored to work with her.

As per your request, Beyonce's management will be in touch soon. As soon as we find a song to recycle, we will schedule a call with your people immediately.

As per Beyonce, she "Will pass on lunch. I'm not as desperate as Ciara yet, and I'd rather pull that Trump card later." (Sorry, she makes me write these things.)

Sincerely,
Beyonce's Assistant (awaiting her clearance on calling her Bey, please refrain until obtaining notice, as per her lawyer who reads every email I write.)

************************

Well, you be the judge on the end product. Courtney Brown, my co-host on Thursday's Return of the Black Daria Files radio show, seems to like Bey, and no likey Gaga.

I think everyone knows how I feel about this, and I think it may have been a reach to get Taylor Swift. Or something.

Your thoughts?




xoxo,
Black Daria ;/

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is Mrs.Carters lowest point..WOW!this is deep. The Phallic symbol of a gun, sliding your hand up and down the "gun"!..the excessive and often whorish grinding and licking of lips (no there was nothing seductive or subtly erotic about it). THEN....Trying to "thug it out" when youre a sheltered stage kid who has never seen any part of the "streets" a day in your life. ummmmm..Oprah...we have a problem!
No amount of money or fame can cover up unresolved "daddy" issues. SMH

Anonymous said...
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Courtney Brown said...

LOL Don't diss my girl.

You're probably right @ (awaiting her clearance on calling her Bey, please refrain until obtaining notice, as per her lawyer who reads every email I write.)

That's how you run a tight ship!! :)

Don said...

Beyonce is a bad broad. If not the baddest when it comes to being a music diva. True, she won't make sense to everybody and she won't always make the right decisions. But even when she is less than Fierce, you have to admit, she still does her thang.

I don't have any talk for Lady Gaga.

Anonymous said...
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