Monday, April 7, 2014

SPOTLIGHT: Lloimincia Halls: Current Stop, LSU - Next Stop, Olympics 2016?

Hi People,

Pay NO attention to Lloimincia Halls name, or how you should actually spell it, because this is correct; I checked several times. Don't even worry about how to pronounce it, because I can probably guarantee that she will be a contender in the next Olympics in Rio in 2016.

I took Gymnastics back in the day despite growing up in the rough streets of Brooklyn. It was the 80s, so Dominique Dawes, Shannon Miller...they were like everything to little girls back then.

Anyway, this video came across my Facebook timeline, and it put a smile on my face, which is literally impossible to do. The competition Lloimincia was in was back in January 2014 against Alabama.

She scored a Perfect 10...the music? Micheal Jackson and Earth, Wind and Fire...*nods head* yep, that works for me.

Enjoy, or whatever.

Best,
Black Daria

source: YouTube via Total Sorority Moves

Dear Kandi and Todd: You got Married Too? Wow. *does a cartwheel*



I guess it is that season...you know, getting married and stuff. Well, congrats.

What's funny to me is that I first heard this announcement Friday morning on Power 105.1. I still listen to The Breakfast Club, even though I think Charlemagne is a complete dickhead.

Nonetheless, when they reported the story, they weren't too sure if Kandi's mother, affectionately known as Mama Joyce, had attended this ridiculous excuse to get a spin-off show.

According to Rhymes With Snitch, via some other source, Mama Joyce was quoted as saying that Todd almost didn't sign the pre-nup...but that led me to ask a question; who waits 24 hours before a wedding to sign a pre-nup? I've never been married, only proposed to several times by a bunch of losers, so that made me raise an eyebrow.

Then I went back to what I do best. I poured a drink and...well, had an herbal refreshment, of course.

When will the DIVORCE happen is the real question...I give you guys about 5 years. 10 tops.

Best,
Black Daria

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Dear Rob: GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS. NOW.

Dear Rob:

So I hear you don't want to get off your FAT ASS to go to your sister's wedding. I don't blame you, she is a whore, but you gotta represent.


So...go take a walk. Stop being depressed. Motherf*cker, you are selling SOCKS at Neiman Marcus. That's better than nothing. I have a dollar in my pocket as I type this letter. You could lose at least 40 lbs. and still look...OK.

Get it together. I would call you the "N" word, but that isn't appropriate, even though your sister is marrying one of those...you know...

Best,
Black Daria

photo source: Softpedia

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Dear Ashanti and Nelly: You got Married? Mazel Tov.

Dear Nelly and Ashanti,

So you finally did it. You got married. That's what I heard on the radio yesterday...a question though...why would anyone pay $42 for a party? Was that the reception? Or just something to support weak album sales? Either way, that had to be a major fail. My sources tell me that you could have had a spot for free...you know, how the INDUSTRY does it.


Well, at least Nelly found a "ride or die" chick to roll with him through the times he was fucking other bitches, selling drugs, and other nonsense.

Again, Mazel Tov.

Best,
Black Daria 

photo source: Rolling Out

Monday, March 31, 2014

Dear Benzino: You Aren't Important Enough to Get Shot.

Dear Benzino,

What in TARNATION would you have to be doing to owe someone anything for you to get shot? Aren't you the former owner of The Source? I know you got money...why would your nephew shoot you for something so frivolous?




Oh, I forgot. Us Blacks do dumb things like this to get money...or are you Latino? Eh, doesn't matter. I wish you a speedy recovery.

Best,
Black Daria

source: Rhymes With Snitch


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Dear Kim and Kanye: You aren't fooling anyone...

Dear Kanye and Kim:

If you think you are going to get away with not paying for your engagement video, you are dead wrong.

Confidentiality agreements aren't always binding...so done with these shenanigans.


Nice outfits.

Best,
Black Daria

source: TMZ, Karen Civil (image)

Dear Grannies: The Blacks are equally confused about Beyonce and Kanye. Trust.

Dear Grandmas:

On behalf of America, we apologize for the lyrics of Beyonce and Kanye West. If you knew anything, you'd know that they are victims of this thing called Corporate America, where they do things like tell you to write ridiculous songs so they can pay their bills.


Anyway, enjoy your crumpets and tea.

Best,
Black Daria

source: YouTube, Huffington Post