Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dear Carmelo: Tsk. Tsk.

Source: Rhymes With Snitch

Dear Carmelo:

I'm not exactly sure why you felt the need to respond to Kat Stacks, but I am sure you now regret it. I too, have scathed at things written directly to me, and decided not to hit send.

Well, not really, as I am not as popular as you are. But you know what I am saying.

You just got married. Why do you even care about what many of us know to be common trash? Well, common hooker trash, to be specific.

Kat Stacks has her job, you have yours. Don't quit your day job...that's if the NBA isn't looking for a way to fire your ass as I type this post.

Next time, just walk away slowly. Makes everyone else involved less guilty, and keeps the pesky FBI away.

Black Daria ;/

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Dear Soulja Boy: Or, can I call you Sloppy Boy?

Dear Soulja Boy:

So, it's bad enough that Kat Stacks exists. But we, the public, accept her, because we all know God likes a good laugh.

But then she comes equipped with fake breasts and a phone. We dare not ask where she learned English, although based on listening to her, I'd have to guess between all the Alien movies, Werewolves, and some dude from Brooklyn. I only say that because she said Yo.

We know a few things after watching this video:

1. You are no longer a welcomed guest at the Intercontinental in Buckhead. Maybe anywhere there's an Intercontinental.

2. Your new name is Sloppy Boy Tell 'Em.

3. Cocaine is a terrible drug. So bad, it makes you do things like this.

Source: WorldStarHipHop.com

Don't worry, your sister Paris followed up your party with her own arrest in Las Vegas. I guess it's safe to assume you are both trying to get this all out of the way before the VMA's and Fashion Week. The season is upon us.

This is bad PR. I advise you to remedy this situation ASAP.

How? Oh, you've got to pay for those types of answers. Gee, I hope your people got skills.

Black Daria ;/

Dear Paris: Of Course it's not Your Cocaine. Noooo.

Source: Web

Dear Paris:

You know, when you said the pot wasn't yours in South Africa, I didn't believe you, but I believed in the power of your last name, and just like that, it was gone, and you were free.

But then I read on Diary of a Hollywood Street King via TMZ that you got arrested in Las Vegas for possession of cocaine.

Once again, it's not your purse.
I ask: "Chum'mon. Really?"

How stupid do you think we really are? Don't worry, if Lindsay only did 13 of her 90 day sentence, you will do at least 7. You've done it before, you know the drill.

I just add you to the list of coke-exposed users for the week. Thanks, I guess this also made it possible for me to write something of interest today.

Actually, you aren't interesting at all, but you are worth discussing for the current moment. I've already gotten up into Soulja Boy, so until something else happens, I'm done discussing this situation.


Black Daria ;/

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Dear Caroline: You are my Italian Mother

Photo Credit: NJ.com

Dear Caroline:

Kudos to you for delivering and serving what I saw was one of the best "Bye, B*tches" I've seen on television.

I'd not really watched this season, because frankly, it was clear that Danielle was an idiot. And no disrespect to your family, but the other ladies weren't able to contend with such a nut basket. They constantly got caught in her diatribe of nutness.

But then, that also means we'd have nothing to watch. So in you came to save the season from the debauchery and fuckery that occurred over a span of 10 episodes or so.

The fact that you called her garbage after 10 minutes of getting her to agree that the recent events had been ridiculous was great. You can clearly see her go into nutty mode, when her eyes began shifting rapidly from side to side. She and her wackness of weave was shaken to her core, even with her gun-toting bodyguard.

There's nothing worse than a loon basket creating a false sense of reality to pay the bills.

I mean, that's the point right?

Nonetheless, you made me want to ask you to be my Italian mother last night, so thanks.

Black Daria ;/

Fantasia on GMA? Sure, why not.

American Idol winner and recording artist Fantasia sat down with Robin Roberts to talk about her failed suicide attempts, and everything else she could fit into an 8-minute segment. She even had time to complement Robin on her look. Gotta squeeze in a "ooh, Chile!" somewhere, right?

Source: ABCNews.com

I'm not sure how to feel about this. One part of me says I wouldn't have a blog post to write if she didn't do this interview. The other part of me wishes she hadn't done this interview.

Here's to hoping the life coach will talk to her about carrying freeloaders and the ramifications. The life coach also needs to help her get her confidence level up. I think we tend to forget that 'Tasia was more of a reality superstar than anything else. America (and producers) picked her to carry on a show name via a singing career, and she hadn't even completed high school.

Oh well. The point is you now know that she was weak, and is trying to get stronger. I give her some credit for being a fighter by doing the interview, but 'Tasia, it's about time to look in the mirror and accept responsibility for your actions and decisions.

We the public do it daily. Kudos to Nurse Melanie, who basically was responsible for your return.

OK 'Tasia, run off to get the highest ratings VH1 will see this quarter, do promo tours, etc.

Black Daria ;/

YRB Magazine Art Issue Party @ Lucky Strike – 8.23.10

VIP Section & DJ S&S - Photo Credit: Black Daria Photos

For those of you who aren't familiar, going out on a Monday or Tuesday night is traditional fanfare in NYC for the 'Industry' people. It's my personal belief that the history of this spans back to the late '90's, when industry types decided that they didn't feel comfortable hanging out with 'regulars' on Fridays. That's when most of America gets paid, and likely wants to take that 10% of their check to a bar as opposed to their savings account.

Since Industry people are never broke (HA!), they get together on days when they get paid, which is everyday. It's referred to as the Freelancer life. Very anti-Corporate.

Lucky Strike served as an interesting venue to hold an art/magazine event, but the chance to see the host, Swizz Beats, post-marriage made the task of going a tad worthy.

Not really, I was looking for a good party.

Walking in, I felt a tad confused. It was clear that between the industry folks and the people who got lucky (no pun intended) to know someone to get in, everyone was there for the free Ciroc. I mean, isn't that the reason why EVERYONE goes to these parties, to save 35-50 dollars on drinks?

I digress. I never got to see Swizz or Mary J. Blige, but I can confirm that it was Mary who actually got the party started two hours after it began. In the VIP section, many folks (couldn't tell you who people getting their pics taken were because there wasn't anyone formally announcing names on the red carpet in front, I stood on the other side of it for about 30 min) gathered to hear S&S spin the Mary Classics, and I personally got claustrophobic and left before the Fire Department showed up...the room was definitely over capacity. DJ Kalkutta should be commended for holding things down in the room I'd like to refer to as "people who aren't invited to VIP, but we still want you here to make this event look good" room.

I did get to stop and take a few flicks before I left VIP of these interesting Bookbags, painted by some of the artists featured in the issue.

Photo Credit: Black Daria Photos

Personally, the Wasted Talent bag is the one I would carry. It's very Black Daria thinking.

Like every good art party, you gotta throw up your tag to represent. See below.

Photo Credit: Black Daria Photos


Black Daria ;/

Monday, August 23, 2010

Dear Kanye: First a new Twitter account, now new music once a week...how rich.

Pic Source: Rap Radar

Dear Kanye:

Because you woke up one day and decided we, the public, couldn't have enough of your antics and such, you've started a new 'trend' (besides finally deciding to get on Twitter two years after everyone else).

G.O.O.D. Fridays is your solution. A new song released every Friday until Christmas. Talk about marketing genius. It's about as moving as your personal goal of being this year's headliner at the VMA's by interrupting Taylor Swift last year, all because you can't help to smell your mentor Jay-Z's nuts at least once a day by jocking him and his wife.
The Illuminati life, I suppose.

But those are just my thoughts. Let's see how committed you are to this.
I personally, think you are so lame, and this is just another one to add to the list of lameness. You've interned at fashion houses, and this is what you come up with? I mean, kudos for deciding to stick with what you know, but seriously, this really just seems lame to me.

Whatever. I will wait patiently for another brilliant tweet from you, cause something tells me you can't commit yourself to music releases once a week. I know one day I will have something good to say about you. Just waiting for my moment...and not with bated breath, either.


Black Daria ;/

P.S. Tell Pharrell he's a cutie. Make yourself useful. Thanks.

New Meaning to "fits like a glove": Vibram Shoes...or Socks? Mulberry Shoes confirm Purple is in for Fall 2010

Since I love fashion, I thought I would ask you all if you would be brave enough to wear these shoes:

Source: Rivaled

Purple is definitely the new black this season, but could I wear these? According to fashion site Rivaled, you can hike in Vibram shoes. For those with challenging looking toes, this could be your answer to all of that, except if you have bunions or hammertoes. I personally am a tad concerned about arch support in these, but I'd give them a shot.

Other purple Shoe contenders for this Fall include:

Source: Rivaled

Mulberry's Autumn/Winter 2010 collection. Love the pumps on the left.

Here's to hoping Purple is officially in the house. For me, it will always be that way. It is the color of royalty, right?

Black Daria

Dear Benzino: I don't think anyone cares about you...

Benzino - Source: Web

Dear Benzino:

I read on Diary of a Hollywood Street King that you were arrested over the weekend for possession of marijuana. I wonder, does anyone read Hip Hop Weekly, the magazine you own?

I was really excited when that publication first came out, I even kept the first couple of issues because I thought of them as history in the making.
I don't think people really care about this, but I figured I would let them know what you were up to...maybe people will venture off and go read the magazine now?

Probably not, you know we still haven't gotten over the mess you created at The Source.

*Kanye Shrug*
Oh well.

Just informing the public of your misdeeds. I'm sure it will get thrown out in court and be forgotten about as fast as people have forgotten that Hip Hop Weekly actually exists. I may buy one this week just to see if it's as untimely as it was when I stopped buying it 3 years ago.

Black Daria

Dear Swizz: Of course you are happy you married Alicia...Duh!

Alicia and Swizz - Source: Access Hollywood

Dear Swizz:

I am not sure why Access Hollywood took the time to write up this little note, but you've been quoted as being happy you married Alicia Keys.

I think if the IRS wanted my ass, I too, would be happy to marry someone who had more money than I did. But we know that none of that really matters, right?

Just want to remind you of the sloppy mess you left behind, and that Twitter became your enemy thanks to Mashonda. We followed her heartache everyday...how wretched you were. Especially since I attended that great surprise party you threw for her at Cain back in 2006. I wouldn't have guessed that four years later, you would have thrown a bun in Alicia's oven and married her.

But boy, were you smart. When you saw that Mashonda wasn't making you any money (yes, we remember vaguely that she is also a singer), you went for the cash cow. I commend your skills, not many would be able to pull something like that off.

No, but seriously, Mazel Tov. Now, go produce something please. I am quite bored with the Alicia/Swizz union, and deep down inside, I am sure you are equally as tired of reading about it on every blog that deems it worthy to speak upon.

Don't eff this one up.

Black Daria ;/

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Dear Wyclef: So...now what?

Wyclef - Source: Web

Dear Wyclef:

Allow me to understand, because clearly, I'm tripping.

Haiti is devastated by an earthquake. The answer: You.

Sorry, I am still confused. I don't recollect you ever doing anything that would deem you worthy of being asked to run for President. I know, Reagan was an actor, then he became the President. Schwarzenegger did the same when he became Governor of California.

You know what the difference is though, right? You also see what happened when we were doomed under the rule of Reaganomics.
Just go make an album, and donate ALL the proceeds to Haiti. That should be your contribution. Then go home to your fancy life in New Jersey, and produce some young person's album, as your time is truly running up and out.

I know it's easy to feel as if we could all be Presidents, especially in the age of Barack Obama. Trust me, I get it, but that still doesn't mean everyone should run for President.

However, I am aware you are getting the most press you've probably ever gotten, and even the Z-List would be honored to Google themselves and find stories adorning the pages of the New York Times, and other noteworthy papers and such.

That doesn't change the facts. You are not qualified, and that's that. I advise you to let this one go. Your "yes" people are doing you a huge disservice.

Black Daria ;/

Dear Faith: Where have you been?

Faith Evans - Source: Web

Dear Faith:

I am going to be honest. Not only do I not remember the last time you came out with an album, but I am actually too lazy to look it up online. I did, however, find this photo...I figured this wouldn't really be a valid blog post with one, so there.

I am a bit caught off guard by your recent arrest for a DUI. Are you trying to be a train wreck? Or have you always been one, and we've just been ignoring your bouts with Cocaine and such. Nope, don't feel like googling those stories either.

I just feel like you drove yourself literally into this mess...there was a checkpoint, and you got served.

Just know that if your album is coming out on October 5, it's likely that your court date will coincide with the release.

Which means that maybe 50 more people will be aware that you still make music. Hopefully, they will buy your album.

I am not saying I won't, just saying this arrest doesn't make my decision move in your favor. I personally am tired of celebrities getting arrested for things that could merely be solved by calling a cab. Or having some discipline.

Nonetheless, good luck with all of this. I still have my 'Keep the Faith' album. I advise you to do the same.

Black Daria ;/

Friday, August 20, 2010

Dear Fantasia: What is the message?

Source: Web

Dearest Fantasia:

So, I am not exactly sure what happened the day you met Antwuan, but I can imagine that he looked quite hot and sexy as he gave you the rundown on all those options for your phone plan. Makes me warm and fuzzy inside too.

Not really, I just wanted to relate for a few minutes.

Fast forward: he told you he was married, but it wasn't working out. Here's something you should know: most times when a man pursues a mistress, the prior situation is NEVER working out, even if he's happy as a pig in slop.
In other words, men will say anything to have what they shouldn't have, so you fell in the trap. And I feel for you, because it happens to A LOT of women.

Somewhere along the way, there's this thing called PRIDE. It's followed by FAITH. These two words are tricky, because they are considered nouns. They also aren't things we can see, just words to live by...and at some point, we are put to the test.

The problem here is the sloppiness. Pics of you canoodling with him, the tattoo you got on your neck (even the Lord won't be able to explain that, ladies should never get tattoos on their necks) and other ways you decided to tell the world you were in love, are just stories we aren't ready as the general public to hear. No one is a big fan of a woman looking as if she's in between being desperate and leans towards homewrecker.

I know these are things you should not have to worry about, but unfortunately, when the world decides you are a celebrity, it makes you have to be a tad more on point with the details.
Not sure if I will watch your show, but we all know this news will make your next season "Must See TV" so I will keep an eye out for the train wreck, and hope that you get some help along this process.


Black Daria ;/

P.S. Doesn't the way he spell his name just make you want to say NO?

Dear Montana: You are every Parent's Nightmare

Montana and father in normal times. Source: Web

Dear Montana,

I am not sure what exact day you woke up and decided that you'd be a porn star, but that is probably the same day your father wished he hadn't had sex without a rubber with your mom.

Now, I know it's very easy to look at your girl Kim Kardashian and say, "I want to be like her," but that's such a different story from yours. For one, when she decided to be a starlet whore, her father had already died. He probably turned over in his grave, but those are things we will never know. The man was an upstanding lawyer, for Pete's sake.

Either way, I would have taken a line or two in a movie called in by my famous father before I decided to cash in on my ass. You doll, are no Heather Hunter. You should, however, reach out to her for some type of mentorship. Those spots on your ass that you refer to as Leopard spots clearly show that you aren't ready for the Porn game, everyone knows that Photoshop is a friend.

So, we will continue to watch this disaster, knowing at some point that you will realize the errors of your ways. Sure, the Adult Entertainment industry is a million dollar industry not to be ignored. But you could have at the very least changed your name, as per your father's suggestion.

In short, you are a mess.


Black Daria ;/

P.S. I will still interview you, even though I highly doubt there will be substance to the dialogue.