Alicia and Swizz - Source: Access Hollywood
Dear Swizz:
I am not sure why Access Hollywood took the time to write up this little note, but you've been quoted as being happy you married Alicia Keys.
I think if the IRS wanted my ass, I too, would be happy to marry someone who had more money than I did. But we know that none of that really matters, right?
Just want to remind you of the sloppy mess you left behind, and that Twitter became your enemy thanks to Mashonda. We followed her heartache everyday...how wretched you were. Especially since I attended that great surprise party you threw for her at Cain back in 2006. I wouldn't have guessed that four years later, you would have thrown a bun in Alicia's oven and married her.
But boy, were you smart. When you saw that Mashonda wasn't making you any money (yes, we remember vaguely that she is also a singer), you went for the cash cow. I commend your skills, not many would be able to pull something like that off.
No, but seriously, Mazel Tov. Now, go produce something please. I am quite bored with the Alicia/Swizz union, and deep down inside, I am sure you are equally as tired of reading about it on every blog that deems it worthy to speak upon.
Don't eff this one up.
xo,
Black Daria ;/
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