Dear Nas...

Dear Nas,

Can I call you Nas or do you prefer Nasir?

I thought I'd take the time to write you a personal letter on my blog. I know, you like the attention, and I need it, so hey, why not.

You may not know this, but I wrote two love letters to Chuck Bass, in an attempt to win his heart, and he chose that bitch Blair. Fine, I get it...I live in the wrong zip code, amongst other issues, but I thought we could have been as "Too Hot for TV" as Jerry Springer in 1998. But I digress from my point.

I had a dream about you on Friday, and I must say, it was pretty hot. I don't want to disrespect your future ex-wife, Kelis, as we are classmates from high school for Pete's sake. But again, I am shameless in getting two more readers to spread this as some type of juicy gossip. The classmates from high school part is true, however.

So, all I know is that we were in that house in Hollis in Belly (not to be confused with DMX's crib in Jamaica Estates) that you lived in with T-Boz. Hmmm...that was pre-Kelis and during the Carmen years, so I am good to continue my fantasy without shame, because I read her book, and frankly, next. Good for Pocket Books/VH1 and the NYT bestsellers list, bad for her, but enough about that chick.

We were in bed together, and we were talking about...what else, Queens. I don't know why.

What happened next? Well, I can't really say all that here, as one day, I want to run BET, but I will tell you I haven't been awakened from a dream like that since The Boys were "dialing my heart." I think it was the way you said "I knew you were from Queens when I first started talking to you." Plus, I recall us Queens girls were hot commodoties back then, like when light- skinned dudes were "in." (I secretly wish that time never happened...fucking ridiculous.)

...But anyway, since Chuck is unavailable, I guess I'd like to just take the moment to tell you that I had this dream, and although I will likely not have a chance to share a bed with you, if I did, I hope that what happened in that dream could happen.

I only write three letters to the men I am interested in getting to know, so you should consider yourself privileged.

No seriously, you should.

I'm about my blog shit that I call "Conscious Gossip." And this is letter alone (I believe) is worth at least a lunch to discuss some of the possibilities of getting with a girl like me. I mean, I know you will likely be the whore most industry dudes think they were destined to be...and in no way am I looking to marry you. Let's face it, Kelis may just rack up in this whole thing. I dunno...we shall see, right?

All I know is that dream was hot. So there, hope you liked that enough to email me. Coffee at Starbucks? I'll call TMZ to show up...see, I'm a ride or die chick.

xoxo,
Black Daria ;/

Wacky Tuesdays/Wednesdays...Ray J releases another, Gossip Girl is back while the City says goodbye, etc...

So, of course there's gossip, but here were some of the highlights since my last post. Let's see:

On TV...

Ray J released Cashmere from his lair on his show. I know you care. Unfortunately, I won't care enough to post any links unless Ray J asks me out on a date...sorry, but the Kim K. tape put him on my list...I know you didn't want to know that, but now you know.

Gossip Girl is back on and POPPIN...letter to Chuck Bass coming soon...he was looking hot, but needed a better comb job...still sexy though...plus I've waited a good amount of time since the last letter.

Top Model auditions may be a sign of the times...think about it, wouldn't you be fighting for free food, rent, pictures and tips from Tyra and Co. for the FREE. Right. Now. (yes, I wrote "For the Free"...thinking about the Baltimore slang I picked up in college...)

And last, but not least, this guy has to be the FUNNIEST. I mean, total nutness at it's finest:



I couldn't have said it better myself, except I don't eat dry grits...I am just not into grits at all. I know the beef is old, but man, Keri Hilson? I mean, dude has Solange's CD, and I like her even though people talk smack about her being the "McDonalds of Beyonce"...sorry, it was a Twitter to Facebook joke between me and my FB buds...Solange, you are a friend in my head. No, seriously. Think I picked this up from RWS last week, too tired to look back, but pretty sure...

As I remove my lips from Sol-Angel's ass (insert sarcasm here), we are talking relationships on the Black Daria Files this Thursday, March 19. Not sure what the subject is going to be, but based on the comments I've gotten on FB just by asking what, I think we will have enough to discuss...catch up on last week's show here, where my co-host, Dionne Figgins and I talked about the do's and don'ts of Facebook...wonder how MissMBAP is doing...

xoxo,
Black Daria ;/

Today's sponsor is the good old New York Daily News...I use the post to soak up dog piss in front of my bulding in the morning so I don't have to step on it ;/

P.S. I actually like Solange more than her sister. Guess that's Black Daria's first Dirty Little Secret for '09.

Things to ponder on a hump day...

Please excuse my lack of posts, as I am going through a transition mode in my life, forcing me to leave things behind I love longer than I’d usually do…like my blog. And since Black Daria probably has at least 2 other things she loves more than this blog, you may understand that blogging daily can be quite the task. If you don't understand, well, (insert sarcasm here) screw you ;/

But I haven’t been completely negligent of my duties of informing the public on my stance on…whatever. Just last night I was on Talk Dat Ish radio, where we went into the world of skinny jeans….for men. Yes, men. Picture below is an example:


Credit: who knows (or cares), but the photographer is probably wearing something just as fabulous...

To my surprise, we discussed the subject of whether or not this was cool on the show last night, and I wanted to give the topic a fair chance, but it became deeper as we got into sexuality. Frankly, I guess I’ve been raised where these things aren’t really questioned (sexuality) to a degree of what one is wearing…it’s more about HOW it’s being worn.

For example, I understood why I saw a man's boxers when he wore baggy jeans. But when did that become OK for skinny ones? Logistically, I didn’t think it was possible, but somehow, out comes a little ass…and so not cute boys. Yes, boys wear their asses out in little jeans, because mommy didn’t give them a belt that day. Men buy a belt and pull their freaking pants up. And don't get my mother started on that one, I often have to remind her I can't beat everyone's ass after she points at them and hits me on the arm asking "Why?"

A friend circulated this fuckery picture amongst her cohorts, and one of the people on the e-mail chain happened to know one of these Ringling Brothers personally, and let the chain know that one of them “was his boys…” I don’t know, I don’t claim circus acts. I respect expression and color, but these styles will make us question the state of who you are as well as your mental capacity, and I personally don’t want to date a man who wants to wear my jeans too…I mean, that’s what we pretty much concluded with on the show last night…and you can listen to as much as you can take of us here.

SUPERBOWL RECAP

I also must admit I haven’t been much of a blog whore as I normally am, so I don’t have much to report. I did watch the Superbowl, and OK….next. Steelers won, whoopee. Honestly, I fell asleep during Springsteen, and woke up with 3 minutes left on the clock…good game.
The commercials I saw were also weak, but apparently they pulled the big dogs during my brief slumber. Here is one of my favorites from that bunch:



What else…oh, 50 needs to stop. Seriously. I think I am going to have to write a letter to him. Maybe Thursday…


TV MINUTE

Gossip Girl was weak this week, so it’s getting no play on this here post. I still think Chuck Bass needs to watch out if I see him on the street, but in the meantime, thumbs down to Monday’s episode.

The City got pretty interesting, as Kelly Cutthrone pretty much let us know she also hates skinny bitches as much as Mo’Nique does, or did, now that’s she’s lost quite a bit of weight (fabulous at any size but no more Essence covers please).



Daddy’s Girls…I think I am going to start a petition to put them on Nickelodeon, or BET…they are so sweet and squeaky clean that coming after The City is a huge set up…considering the type of viewer who likes the raciness of The City, versus the carryover to then watch Daddy’s Girls. I am seeing two viewers…can’t wait to see what Nielsen says. As a black popular culture analyst, I see this as a way to not be able to bring this show back…why 10:30? Something is not right about that, but I want to be mistaken…oh, and this whole Licensing issue doesn’t help for season 2:




Credit: RWS

…um, who’s fired here? Ironically, I went to a Johnny Cupcakes party back in 2005 for a friend who’s party was being sponsored by dude who owns Johnny C…he’s definitely no stranger to the indie clothing brands out there, and I hope the case is tight…wouldn’t want to see the ladies suffer for what seems to be a huge oversight, to be nice…it’s clear that folks are not designing their own clothes, but when walked down this type of path, you have to be careful. I am on your side ladies, even though I wasn’t invited to any parties for your show. Black Daria will look for future invites.


OK, I think that’s all for now. I am going to go catch up on some much needed gossip site reading, and get my blogroll on…check out some of mine on the right when you feel like being entertained.


xoxo,
Black Daria

My second letter to Chuck Bass...

Dear Chuck,


Just when they thought you'd lost it all, you came back, realizing that everybody needs somebody...so I wanted to be the first to congratulate you on your recent victory of acquiring Bass Industries back. And notice something else...it isn't Blair congratulating you. In fact, she's turned her back on you, too concerned about getting into Yale, and has already caused way too many problems for her own good. She has no time for you.

But I do.

Screw the Thai hookers, look at what Black is doing for America, and get with the program.

I'll be waiting for your call, but hopefully, I won't have to become too aggressive. It's not really my style anyway, if you've read anything else I've written. I'm a woman (not a girl) who states the facts as they are, and I hope you realize what's best for you at some point.

Until then, I'll keep blogging from my Harlem pad...and you keep rocking the hell out of those jackets and vests...your color combinations are like Vanilla Bean Haagen Daaz in my mouth.

xoxo,
Black Daria

My first love letter to Chuck Bass

Hi Chuck-

You don't know me, but I know you. Since I know you aren't a man who gets himself too caught up in busy talk, I will get straight to the point.

I can't help it, but I am falling in love with you...and since you don't know me, know that Black Daria falls for no one. I love men, even had a boyfriend or three...but they didn't get me, and somehow, I think you might.

I know what you are thinking...who is this girl? Where does she live? Well, I certainly don't have a doorman...hell, I don't even have an intercom. What I do have is the ability to be the perfect match to your coy, sexy ways.

Allow me to explain...while I thought Blair did an OK job of coming to your defense, I would have ensured that you were not suspended at all or ever. How? Well, you'll have to call me to find out, but I can assure you that your Uncle would not have needed to say anything else when I finished my diatribe. That Blair is OK, but while she may have the credentials to marry you, like Beyonce, I can "Upgrade You." How? Hmmm...if you write me back, maybe I will tell you...a lady must not reveal all her secrets. (did I just call myself a lady? Damn I must like this one...)

You think about it, K? Now I am getting a little too cutesy for even my own standards. Since you are into the tech world, here's my email: blackdaria78@gmail.com... will you email me please? (no pleading, not my style)

xoxo,

Black Daria

P.S. I loved this ad...my glasses are getting foggy as I write this...so embarrassing :/